dating panel questions
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This can be combined with other ideas on the list. Perhaps a group of you could frankly discuss your concern in an appropriate setting such as a Sunday School or seminary class. As the old saying goes, there is safety in numbers.
Talk to your parents and youth leaders about it, and learn from what other people have done and observed. Keeping a date to a reasonable amount of time may leave your date wanting to spend more time with you later. Use this time wisely by learning all you can about choosing him, rather than choosing one person quickly and limiting yourself. Are occasional single dates as a teen wrong?
dating panel questions - W czterech etapach uczestnicy próbowali swoich sił w dziedzinie szkicu i fotografii powierzchni i zjawisk zachodzących na naszej Dziennej Gwieździe. When is it OK to call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend?
At the New Era we often receive questions about dating. We have also visited with youth from a variety of places and have found that there are some common questions that LDS youth would like answered. Here are a few questions from youth about dating, along with answers we hope are helpful. Answers are intended for help and perspective, not as pronouncements of Church doctrine. What is the purpose of dating as teenagers? Your ultimate goal is to spend eternity with Heavenly Father, and in His kingdom we will live as eternal families. So the ultimate goal of dating is to find an eternal companion you can make and keep temple covenants with. These skills will be helpful in your social interactions and then later in courtship and marriage. It is good for young men and young women to learn to know and to appreciate one another. It is good for you to go to games and dances and picnics, to do all of the young things. We encourage our young people to date. We encourage you to set high standards of dating. Other resources: Matthew and Janine Clarke, New Era, Aug. What is considered dating? How is it defined? Dating is when two people of the opposite sex arrange to pair up with each other and participate in an activity. Some teens use the word dating to describe a couple that has decided to be exclusive, but this is not the kind of dating you should be doing in your teens. What is the difference between hanging out in a group and dating in a group? Group dating means that everyone in the group is paired up for an activity. Some teens report uncomfortable situations where a couple of friends pair off and the rest of the people in the group feel like they are tagging along on a date. This places your friend in the awkward position of being a third wheel on a supposedly accidental date. Modern prophets have counseled us to follow this standard because they know that it will protect us and help us to be happy. The age of 16 simply means you can now begin dating when you feel ready, starting with group dates. Dating before then can lead to immorality, limit the number of other young people you meet, and deprive you of experiences that will help you choose an eternal partner. But this very attraction becomes as a powder keg unless it is kept under control. It is beautiful when handled in the right way. It is deadly if it gets out of hand. This rule is not designed to hurt you in any way. It is designed to help you, and it will do so if you will observe it. Other resources: New Era, Nov. What should someone do if they find themselves getting into a relationship before they are old enough to date? Your parents or Church leaders can help you establish some rules. Other resources: New Era, July 1995, 17. Is dating before you are 16 a sin that must be repented of? Modern prophets have counseled against dating before 16, so willfully disregarding this counsel should not be taken lightly. Part of that repentance should include a change of heart and a commitment to stop dating, if you are still under 16. If you need more help in this area, talk to your parents or Church leaders. What kind of dates are OK when you first turn 16? When you are just beginning to date, it is best to keep things light and fun. Focus on strengthening the friendships you already have. Other resources: For a list of fun dating ideas, see. Is it a type of sin not to want to date at all right now? No, delaying dating is not a sin. Many young people do not date during their teen years because they are not yet interested, do not have opportunities, or simply want to delay forming serious relationships. Right now, relax, ease into dating, starting with group dates as you feel comfortable. It will be better for you and your future spouse if you gain some experience by getting to know people. Perhaps some young adults, especially men, have carried that wise counsel to excess and determined not to date before 26 or maybe even 36. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with. When Do We Go One-on-One? When is single dating appropriate? Following this guideline will help you have more fun and stay safer. As the old saying goes, there is safety in numbers. When you are older and in a position to consider marriage, you most certainly should single date. Until then, talk to your parents about the decision to start single dating. Are occasional single dates as a teen wrong? Not necessarily, but make sure you understand why the Church encourages you to date in groups when you begin dating. For more specific advice, talk to your parents. This is an interesting question, because it assumes that leaving the Young Men or Young Women program may signal the beginning of the single-dating era of your life. Other resources: , New Era, Aug. When Can We Pair Off and Be Exclusive? Why should we not steady date until we are older? When is it appropriate? What constitutes steady dating? The reasons for this counsel have to do with timing and safety. And people in that kind of exclusive relationship will probably want to begin to express their feelings physically. The longer the relationship goes on with no immediate prospect of marriage, the more likely a couple is to get into trouble. Please know the kind of person you want to be with. Please make sure that you help those you come in contact with. Please point them in the direction of associating with many people. Other resources: For more on this topic, read on page 38. How often can you date a certain person? There is no set number. Talk to your parents and youth leaders about it, and learn from what other people have done and observed. When is it OK to call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend? The answer to this question depends on what these terms mean to you and others. For now, just call them friends. Other resources: New Era, May 1996, 17. Why is it so bad to steady date before guys go on missions? Before his mission, a young man should not be looking for a serious relationship. It may distract him from the call to full-time service he will receive from a prophet of God. It might create temptations and even expectations regarding the relationship. Neither of them needs that sort of distraction or pressure. This is a good question to ask your father, uncles, or youth leaders, as well as recently returned missionaries. They will have a good perspective on the problems that come from steady dating before missions. And I would admonish you to date only faithful young women who also believe this and give you that encouragement. How should we ask someone on a date? Calling someone on the phone or speaking to them in person is best. Ask them if they would like to go with you to a dance or on a date on a certain day and at a certain time. People should not feel pressured into a date and should be able to decline without feeling uncomfortable. Is it appropriate for girls to ask guys out? This is a good subject to ask your parents about. Follow their advice and make sure they approve of your dating choices. But generally, these events are the exception rather than the rule. If activities are more organized, guys may begin asking girls on dates more often. How should a guy treat a girl on a date? Young men should use good manners, even if the activity is casual. Go to the door to pick the girl up, and say hello to her parents. Even if she is a good friend, go out of your way to make sure she is enjoying herself. Do not hesitate to show good manners by opening a door for them, taking the initiative in inviting them on a date, and standing as they enter a room. Young women, you can also show respect and dignity by being considerate and polite, extending simple courtesies to others. Should guys really have to pay for every date? Not necessarily, but if the young man is the one who asked the young woman out, he ought to pay. With a little planning, ordinary activities can become dates, such as going for walks or playing games. What are proper manners for a girl on a date? A girl has the same obligation to show good manners as a boy. She should appreciate the efforts he goes to and thank him. She should talk to him and help him have a nice time. She should never be texting others during a date. She should make every effort to be pleasant and talkative. Is there anything wrong with flirting? People who are overly flirtatious often make others feel uncomfortable and may send the wrong messages about their intentions. Customs concerning dating may vary widely from one country and culture to another. What is important is to apply the principles and standards from For the Strength of Youth to your situation. For example, if dating is not encouraged in your culture, you can still find appropriate ways to form friendships and to learn social skills. What about Being Physically Close? When is it OK to hold hands? How serious is holding hands? Holding hands, in and of itself, is pretty innocent. Usually the meaning of holding hands changes with the situation and with how two people feel about each other. At what point is it appropriate to kiss? A person once told of making the mistake of trying to kiss a girl on their first date. He realized he did not think kisses were special, but she did. That experience changed his mind. Other resources: Bruce Monson, New Era, June 2001, 32; John Bytheway, New Era, Oct. Some people are very casual with hugs, and others are not. What might seem normal to you may be interpreted by another as quite intimate. And hugs are much more common in some cultures than in others. A brief hug can be a nice way to show affection without being too serious. For instance, at the end of a date it can show appreciation without becoming inappropriate. Where do you draw the line on a date? How close can you get on a date? The good thing about group dates is that opportunities for inappropriate behavior are lessened. The difficulty with physical attraction is that people often want more than they had the last time they were together. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Stay in areas of safety where you can easily control your physical feelings. Do not participate in talk or activities that arouse sexual feelings. But there is a line which you must not cross. It is the line that separates personal cleanliness from sin. I need not get clinical in telling you where that line is. You have been told again and again. You have a conscience within you. Is a public display of affection a bad thing? Usually when people speak of public displays of affection, they are talking about couples kissing, wrapping their arms around each other, or engaging in other kinds of touching in public. This kind of behavior shows a lack of self-control and self-respect, and it is also self-centered and inconsiderate, because it often makes others feel uncomfortable. Does Modest Dress Really Impress? How can guys encourage girls to dress modestly? Guys, let girls know you notice and appreciate it when they dress modestly. Compliment them on their modest clothes, and then show that you mean it. Immodesty in women cheapens their image. It causes embarrassment and loss of respect. It is not likely to win them the hand of a worthy, honorable young man who desires to marry a righteous young woman in the temple. Many dress and act immodestly because they are told that is what you want. In sensitive ways, communicate how distasteful revealing attire is to you, a worthy young man, and how it stimulates unwanted emotions from what you see against your will. Thank them for doing what is pleasing to the Lord and in time will bless their own husband and children. Many young women have returned to righteousness because of the example and understanding support of a worthy priesthood bearer. Perhaps a group of you could frankly discuss your concern in an appropriate setting such as a Sunday School or seminary class. Will you begin a private crusade to help young women understand how precious they are to God and attractive to you as they magnify their feminine traits and divinely given attributes of womanhood? Why does it seem like boys date girls who dress immodestly? Some national surveys in the U. Yet many girls, especially LDS girls, have the opposite impression. This may come because immodestly dressed girls are sometimes more outgoing and assertive toward boys. So, boys, make your true feelings about modesty known. And girls, enlist the help of seminary teachers or Church leaders to get the message across: LDS girls expect LDS boys to favor modesty. Is There a Rule on That? Should I date someone who is not LDS? Including friends who share your standards in your group dating can build wonderful friendships and may create missionary opportunities. How do you get out of a bad date? If the group or activity makes you uncomfortable, ask your date to take you home or change the activity such as leaving a bad movie. Let your parents know where you are going, and if you have a cell phone, use it when you need to. There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. The best way to help someone with manners is by setting the example yourself. Make sure they understand that the object is to help them, not embarrass them. You can always practice at home or during Mutual or other activities with a group of familiar people. Other resources: Lynn Scoresby, New Era, Feb. How long should a date last? Keeping a date to a reasonable amount of time may leave your date wanting to spend more time with you later. Is it rude to use a coupon on a date? Go ahead and use coupons if you want. Some of the best, most memorable dates are the free or inexpensive ones. You can simply tell the second person how sorry you are and then offer to go another time. Plan to go with the one you already agreed to go with, without making a fuss about your dilemma. Make sure your date has a nice time. Why is it important to take time to plan a date? Planning an activity in advance shows respect and consideration for your date. How do you turn down a date politely? Be courteous when you need to turn down a date. Simply thank them for the offer and say that you would rather not go or that you are unable to go with them. Otherwise you may crush a nervous and shy questioner and destroy him as a potential dater, and that could hurt some other sister. What should you wear on a date? You should, of course, dress modestly. Take time to look your best. This is a way of showing respect to the ones you are with. This is also one of the reasons to plan dates in advance. It lets your date know what you are going to do so that they can dress appropriately. Other references: by Margaret Wilding, New Era, Mar. What can you do not to feel nervous about a date? Imagine yourself not making a fool of yourself. Be prepared; have a plan. Try listening to good music, or reading the scriptures or another good book, or doing your homework, or doing chores. Then go on your date and have fun. NEmore To see more answers to dating questions, go to the Dating topic page at.
Mormons Say Some Things Are Not OK.
If activities are more organized, guys may begin asking girls on dates more often. Then, you'll never wonder what would have happened if you had tried dating someone, or anyone, else. Może nawet odpowiedni sprzęt już piece w posiadaniu osoby zainteresowanej. Is it rude to use a coupon on a date. Compliment them on their modest clothes, and then show that you mean it. Dating panel questions lds you decide to use the panel discussion, make. Young women, you can also show respect and dignity by being u and polite, extending simple courtesies to others. Discuss the purpose and importance of these books -- make them together. Why does it seem like boys date girls who dress immodestly. What do I do?.
